Will You Marry Me?
I can barely believe it: it has been five years since I proposed to my partner.
Surprised? You would not be alone – it is still uncommon for a woman to pop the question to a man.
This part of my story has elicited many reactions:
"Uh...that's cool?" with a quick flash of furrowed brows
"Why?!" abruptly followed by “I mean, I guess that’s cool.”
"What! That's cool!" paired with a hearty high five or jaw drop
Behind the similar words was something unspoken, communicated through looks. I soon found myself in a web of conflicting messages when I began to read between the lines.
A woman should not be the one asking. That is strange.
What is wrong with her? Will her partner not propose? Maybe he does not love her that much?
She is brave – way to tell the patriarchy to screw itself.
I did not imagine these messages; they have surrounded me my whole life. Yet, it is unsettling to hear this after making a significant life decision. It can leave one wondering: Am I doing the right thing? Have I made a terrible mistake?
Thankfully, others' opinions had a different effect on me. Rather than bring me down, they reminded me of my gumption and honesty. Taking the time to understand my relationship to proposals helped me realize that this was an act of:
empowerment for asking a question the world said I could not
commitment to voice what I desired in my relationship
courage to put my heart out there without an expectation of 'yes'
trust that I am someone worthy of love
“To this day, choosing to be the one to ask remains one of my proudest moments.”
💬 SO I WANT TO ASK YOU
What is one of your proudest choices?
You deserve this. Take the first step and find out who you can become.
