The Criticism We Keep
I’m going to share a story that’s been on my heart for a long while.
During the most senior position of my career, I was put on a performance improvement plan (PIP). The term was unfamiliar to me but the message was clear – “you are not good enough.”
It stung to receive this after years of stellar reviews. When I looked into what PIPs were, I started to seriously worry. I learned that they are usually a last resort in addressing employee performance before termination. Was I being shown the door? I expressed my concerns to my manager, who reassured me that the intention was to help me grow.
“What I experienced was the opposite: my self-trust was shattered, despite my decade of experience.”
Each day was a struggle, and even activities that usually brought me joy couldn't keep at bay the tears that engulfed me from time to time. The PIP painted a picture of a person I barely recognized as myself. It listed my mistakes and shortcomings but provided little guidance on how to improve. This left me feeling lost and confused, even after regular check-ins with my manager. I spent much energy interpreting and implementing my own strategies to demonstrate that I understood and was improving.
Despite my efforts, when the PIP ended, I was asked to step down from my position. During the evaluation and the years that followed, I watched myself become increasingly insecure and small. It took me a long time to process what had happened and understand why it had such a significant impact on me.
The feedback caught me off guard, which made me doubt my abilities
The punitive tone seemed disproportionate to the mistakes I made, which left me fearful of doing my job
The process did not include a way to share my perspective, making me feel unseen and undervalued
I was suggested not to tell others about the situation, which created an atmosphere of secrecy and shame
I was juggling overwhelming feelings while trying to maintain a high level of performance, which led to further burnout.
To advocate for myself, I took on additional, invisible roles, such as interpreter, mediator, and evaluator, which left me feeling resentful
The feedback was rooted in a personal issue rather than my performance, which misdirected my efforts
Eventually, I recognized that I needed support – neutral people and spaces that allowed me to process my experience without judgment so that I could reemerge a more authentic, grounded version of myself.
Although it is possible to grow from harsh experiences, it can be deeply and unnecessarily isolating.
This journey inspired me to launch Conquering Criticism – a program designed for professionals seeking to improve in the face of challenging feedback.
Over four months together, you’ll gain valuable tools and techniques to navigate criticism, connect with a supportive community working through similar challenges, and achieve growth that rooted in your personal and professional values.
It would mean so much if you could share this program with someone you know.
